When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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