just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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