there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
