I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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