She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
