i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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