Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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