Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
