my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
