Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Green mimosas i think yes
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
