apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
