my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
