I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
