umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
