come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
