Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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