my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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