Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
