i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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