I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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