so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
