i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize