He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do herpes really smell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
