How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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