Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
