i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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