It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize