Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want her autograph on my taint
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
