We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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