ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fuck appropriateness.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I AM VODKA MAN
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
