I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
