Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
