I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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