I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize