I hope mine doesn't look like that
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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