The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i will never coherently bang her
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
