I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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