i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
