why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
