mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
