You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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