No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
