help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
