I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
