She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
