so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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