Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
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As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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