The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
