chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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