The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
