If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
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