you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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