Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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