Buhtt sex?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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