two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
