and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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