What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
