You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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