Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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