Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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