I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
