The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
