I hate your face
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
