Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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