Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
