8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
