You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my sisters under your porch take her home
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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